So much for the "Domesticated Beast" theory

This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I admit it. But I’ve also had some of the most joyous experiences I could imagine this week. On Monday, I started teaching. KIDS. I have KIDS. I team-teach with 3 other TFA corps members, and we have the best, smartest group of 4th graders on the planet. It’s funny that they have no idea that my entire existence revolves around them right now, but they have seriously made the ridiculous lack of sleep and all the tears so far worth it.

Time to paint a picture… I have not slept more than 5 hours any night this week. Average I’d say is 4. I’m doing better than a lot of my friends who are averaging 3. The new schedule: Wake up at 5am, plan, teach until 1:30, stay at Pastor Elementary in intensive sessions until 5pm, come home, work, go to meetings/workshops/sessions/etc, plan more, work more, force myself to go to sleep at 1am. Yesterday, I started crying during my Advisory session AND my Institute Learning Team session. My friends Gwen and Sarah cried too. So did my Corps Member Advisor, Erin O. Oh, and so did my little 4th grader Yanei. She didn’t know 24 divided by 4, and heard Bernardo say, “That’s easy!!” and so she just started sobbing, right there at her desk. Of course, I gave Bernardo a consequence, and took Yanei outside to talk for a minute. She couldn’t stop crying! I seriously wanted to hug her and just start crying with her. Obviously, I didn’t do that though. I told her, “It’s okay, boys say careless things, but I believe in you, and I know you can be great at math.”

Having a classroom is awesome. I give the kids have a “DO NOW” on the board every day when they enter the class- Usually a short reflection about themselves or learning, and they have the length of one song to complete their answer before we share out. The very first day of school, I played “Burning Down the House” for them. Oddly enough, Rambo (yes, that’s the legit name of one of my co-teachers) played a Michael Jackson jam for them yesterday morning.

Today, my kids took an assessment for the math I’ve taught them this week. (That’s right, I’m teaching MATH right now- FACE.) Most of them did really well (yay!) and 85% of them mastered the material. I was so proud of them! There were 2 students who I was especially proud of for mastering it though. Yanei is one of them. Erick is the other. Erick doesn’t speak any English. So basically, I told him in Spanish that when I’m explaining math problems he needs to copy down the numbers and steps, and try his hardest to follow along. Then, if he has any questions, Jose Carlos translates for him. Well, Erick got one of the top scores on the assessment. He has made me so proud. :)

Other than that, I’ve had some amazing connections with other corps members here at Institute. There are some incredible, passionate, brilliant people here who I can’t believe I’m working with. My CMA group shared our life maps with one another, and their perseverance and positivity have inspired me so much!

I'm exhausted. I've had one major meltdown, and I know more will come before the end of Institute. I can't control most things that are affecting my life right now, from the 100+ degree weather to the amount of sleep I get. And that makes me want to smash my laptop, rip off my professional dress, use it as a pillow, and go to sleep in the hallway at times. But it will be okay, and seeing my students learning is totally driving me. What I can’t wait for: Patrick is coming from SB to visit me here TOMORROW. I haven’t seen him in like 3 weeks! Sooo excited! I’m going to make him hang out with me while I sleep and sleep and plan and plan. Sounds like a fun weekend, right?

Pictures soon, I promise!